Gotta be motivated before you can motivate

I wish I could tell the first years the solution to all homework/motivating problems. Often during mentoring, I find myself questioning what I do and finding possible solutions to my own problems through conversation with my "mentees" more than I feel like I'm actually doing any so-called "mentoring." I certainly don't have the answers. I can listen and I can give suggestions, but I'd love to know what the best thing to do is, too, in a school with very little support. I feel like I'm struggling more this year than last, perhaps because I am more aware of the problems at my school and in my classroom and what I do wrong. I am disappointed in my school and in myself this year. I expected much more from both. With every disorganized and pointless faculty meeting, every loud and uncontrolled assembly, every last-minute decision by the adminstration, and then with every day that I fail to enforce my consequences, every homework assignment that gets graded late, with every student failing, I feel like we're all getting nowhere. I've had my low-lows this year...lower than last year's. I've even felt like giving up. Geometry has been more challenging than I had thought...and with so many failing I know I'm not doing my job. Yet, I have maintained hope, with the help of my roommate, family, and MTC peers. With my grandfather (Pacca) passing away recently, and my brother coming to stay with us for a while, I've had to put things more into perspective. I've realized my sense of purpose more and that others know that I am capable of teaching these students, that my failures are not as bad as I see them, and that my small successes are larger than I think. I'm once again able to look at a bigger picture and not dwell on the everyday issues. I've regained my love of teaching and love (or at least like) for (most) of my students. I've needed to see that others still and have always believed in me, and I've started to regain confidence in myself.

And this is where I'll begin my advice. First, you've gotta have confidence in yourself before you can motivate your studetns. Next, you can't motivate your students to do a dang thing until they know you care about them and about what you're teaching. They've gotta know you'll work with them and for them, that you're in this together (but that they need to pull their own weight.) You've gotta fake it- you've got to be enthusiastic about finding the composition of functions even if they're completely lost and you're about to give up...cuz if you don't, you've really lost them. My first period has been a nightmare many days, and I'm still working on it. Monday-Thursday were small successes; Friday was a disaster (with the "pageant"). I've noticed that I often come into that period with a negative attitude- I already expect the worst from them. I've tried to change that, and it's gotten better. More people are doing their homework. Test grades are (slowly) improving. They know now that I'm on their side and that I'm trying to help them succeed, not fail.

On a very practical matter, I have tried to use Ms. Cornelius's idea (from a first year's blog) to take up one homework assignment once a week by rolling a dice on Friday that indicates which day's homework will be collected. This, unfortunatley, has been unsuccessful. If I were teaching in a highschool where the majority of students did their homework every night already, than this would be a good system. It's also confusing to me because, perhaps shockingly, I'm not organized enough (because of the lack of consistent scheduling by the school) to be able to have a homework assignment monday-thurs. and to take it up Friday. I also find now that students put off their homework til Thursday, making it difficult to teach throughout the week because the presumption that my students are getting their independent practice done for hw at night is false; I can't move on it if they haven't done it on their own.

It's annoying and perhaps I've lowered my expectations, but students are more likely to do their homework if they know I'm checking the next day. What I've done lately is to go around and put a check on their homework during the warm up, just so I know they've attempted about 3/4 of the problems and a check-minus if it's less than that, and then we go over any questions together. Then, I collect it and grade it later.

This all sounds a lot more organized and straight-forward than it really is. I'm still figuring it out. My students need short deadlines with immediate feedback. Perhaps students at other schools are different...I hope they are. I've told my students this...until they can prove to me that they can do their homework every night, then I can't just collect one assignment on Fridays. They have to earn it.

This is a long blog that's kinda gone all over. I wish it were easier. Just don't lose faith.